And No Worry

It's been pretty uneventful since the surgery. I've mostly been sitting or lying around. It's hard to do much with a bag attached to your leg. Plus I just don't feel all that willing. I've been told not to go up stairs for a while and no straining and no lifting and no orange juice and no caffeine and no spicy food and no worrying. Doc appointment is Wednesday. I'll try not to worry.
Ice cream is okay. So is banana bread. Jennifer makes the best ever.
I've grown up getting over sicknesses. I get a cold and I just know I'll be okay in a week. I can do a week. I once had a surfing accident and nearly punctured the main artery in my leg. Bed rest for a day or two and stitches that came out in two weeks and no getting in the water for month. Doable. I get better. I don't feel that way today.
Surgery went well. Before hand the doctor told me that hopefully the tumor was shallow- just in the lining of the bladder. That would be great. If it goes deeper, then... "We'll talk about that later." It was the size of a small orange, or large lemon, perhaps a tangelo. We'll keep it in the citrus family because once you start talking about melons, that's not so good. But it was just big enough to keep him from being able to see underneath it during the initial exam when it was discovered. So he had to wait to see during surgery how deep it went. He was very positive.
The day of surgery is a little fussy. I went under around 8:30am. The doctor had told me I may not even have to end up with a bag, but he'd said it may happen. It happened. I was told that he got most of the cancer out. There is a hole in my bladder. Apparently it went deeper than he had hoped. I don't know what that means yet. He'll go over that on Wednesday... No spicy food, and no worrying. I'm trying not to worry.
This I know for sure. I'll have to have my bladder scoped every 3 months for a while, then every 6 months, and then every year for the rest of my life. That makes me feel like I won't be better- not sick, but also not better. It seems a little un-better if you ask me. I don't like that scope. I'm going to try not to worry about it.
The bag is an interesting thing. It's nice in that I can just drink and drink and not have to go the restroom. A friend of mine called me before the surgery and suggested it would be a great time saver if he could get one for work. He made me laugh. I thought that if I ended up with a bag liquid would just pass through me unnoticed. There is maintenance that needs attending, but I'd just do my thing while I wasn't even thinking about it. The funny thing is that all I can think about is that I've got to go to the restroom all the time. I feel like I've got to pee real bad all the time. There is a saline filled balloon that is in my bladder that keeps the catheter in place. That balloon puts just enough pressure to make you want to go all the time. The good news is that I'll get it out on Wednesday.
I'm looking forward to Wednesday. A lot of questions will be answered. My bag will be gone. I can return to tea, and orange juice, and stairs, and the restroom. The doc will say everything is going to be fine... I hope. I'm a little worried.